worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Randomize
