good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize