i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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