My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Randomize
