Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
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