Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I pour the whiskey from now on
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize