We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
