we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Even my vagina gasped.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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