You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
