His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize