im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
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