How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I wish they made helmets for livers.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
