I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
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I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
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It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
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