So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
