I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
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