Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
The struggles of a small town man whore
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
