I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
