Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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