i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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