glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
