Have you finally orgasmed yet?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
