we're blogging at a bar
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
