are you still at the devil's house?
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
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