I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
