Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
