my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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