he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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