About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Floor bacon is actually really good
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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