Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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