What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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