I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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