Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
