oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
