When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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