I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
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I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
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can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Enjoy the penises
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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