No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
