I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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