I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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