Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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