I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
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