Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
there's paper in my vomit.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
