It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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