I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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