Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
