that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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