If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Randomize
