i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
