My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
