I wish I only lived at night.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Randomize
