12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
