This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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