yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
