I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Randomize
