We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
