I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
