Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
