Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
It was confusing and full of hummus
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
