Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
