It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
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