Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
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